Day of Silence

Today marks the 13th annual Day of Silence, a day wherein students do not talk in order to raise awareness of anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment in schools. The day began in 1996 on the University of Virginia campus, and has spread across the nation, with the support of GLSEN, the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network. This year, the day falls on what would have been the 12th birthday of Carl Walker-Hoover, a Massachusetts boy who hanged himself last week after being subjected to anti-gay taunts by bullies at his school.

I've spoken publicly before about a college friend of mine who died when we were 19, but I'd like to tell his story again to say why I think the Day of Silence is so important. My friend was gay, and in 1996 things were rather different than they are today. There was no social networking site to connect him with other gay people, no Will and Grace, no Milk, no hope of equal protection laws against housing or job discrimination much less marriage, no place for him in any religion. His gay role models were virtually non-existent, or were negative ones. He was under enormous pressure from his parents, who were from a traditional culture. Even our supposedly open and progressive theatre department saw him more as a novelty than anything else. I once asked him what he wanted to do after college, and he said he didn't see a future. Plainly put, he literally could not envision a life for himself, and I believe that faced with this reality, he began a slow suicide, and not long after, died of a drug overdose.

I have always believed that if he had been able to hang on for a few more years, he could have seen, if not a future he wanted, a tiny glimmer of hope on the horizon. So today, if you're reading these words, and you think there's no hope for you, I want to say to you, there is. I think especially of teenagers, and my message is - it really can be better. It might really suck right now in your school or your family or your church or your small town, but the reality is that if you can hang on until you are 18, you can move to a bigger city, get a job, choose a liberal school, find a welcoming church, and create a family of friends who will love you no matter who you are. It's not easy, for sure, and GLBT people are still oppressed even in big cities, but if you can just hang on for a little while, I think you'll find that the good days will eventually outnumber the bad, and you can create the future you want. In the meantime, here are some resources that can help -

GLSEN - Gay Lesbian and Straight Education Network

Scholarships for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered Students - list

Directory of "welcoming churches", specifically open to and supportive of GLBT people

Housing services for homeless GLBT youth - list

Recommended Reading list for GLBT teens from the San Francisco Public Library

The Trevor Helpline - free 24/7 suicide prevention hotline and online forum specifically targeting GLBT youth

Howard Brown Health Center - health services for GLBT Chicagoans

Center on Halsted - variety of services, organizations, grouped in the GLBT community center in Chicago

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